Sarah Ferguson's reputation is as dead and buried as the convicted pervert she emailed

I have an old friend who is one of the most forgiving people I know. She is a great believer in second chances; turning the other cheek; hesitating to cast the first stone. So I thought I'd call her and ask if she thinks the Duchess of York deserves to be forgiven for lying about cutting all ties with convicted paedophile Jeffrey Epstein, when in fact she was sending grovelling messages to the notorious sex predator. "Forgive Fergie?" she asked, incredulous. "Do me a favour."

As straws in the wind go, that one's a straight spear in the eye for Sarah. If my clement friend thinks she's beyond redemption, then I can't see much hope for a comeback. Not this time. Personally, I think it's the duchess's naked duplicity that's finally done for her. The sheer two-facedness of her behaviour. It's just so... BRAZEN.

On March 7, 2011, Fergie made what sounded like a genuine, anguished apology. "I abhor paedophilia and any sexual abuse of children and know that this [her deep friendship and financial dependence on Epstein] was a gigantic error on my behalf... I am just so contrite I cannot say." She swore she would never contact him again.

Weeks later she secretly posted this email to the pervert. "I know you feel hellaciously let down by me... I must humbly apologise to you and your heart for that... you have always been a steadfast, generous and supreme friend to me and my family."

This week, this grovelling note now public knowledge, the Duchess claimed she had been terrified Epstein was going to sue her, and that her career as a children's author was imperilled. But she said she stood by her denunciation of him.

Utter. Bilge. Epstein, by then a convicted paedophile, had no reputation left to defend. He couldn't have sued his way out of a wet paper bag.

As for so "bravely" standing by her attack on her former friend and benefactor - well he's dead now, isn't he! No writs from the grave! Which is pretty much where Fergie's reputation now lies.

Six feet under the cold, cold earth.

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I'm just so ANGRY with Donald Trump. In one ill-considered, reckless statement, he's spooked millions of pregnant women into fretting that they may have risked their unborn baby's health by taking paracetamol.

They haven't, of course - paracetamol is 100% safe to take during pregnancy - but I know that if I were pregnant, despite my rational, informed certainty that no causal link between paracetamol and pregnancy has ever been shown, I'd be worrying if I'd just taken some.

That's what it's like being pregnant. You fret. You're superstitious. Which makes you vulnerable to scaremongering prats like Trump.

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I feel so sorry for Dani Dyer, forced to retire from Strictly Come Dancing on week one with a fractured ankle. All that build-up! All that demanding preparation, physical and psychological!

Richard has also had to quit a reality show early too. Just as he was getting properly stuck into I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here!, a brief bout of ill-health meant he had to quit.

You should have seen him when he arrived home. Gutted doesn't touch it. So all raise a glass to poor Dani tonight as the first live Strictly kicks-off. She'll be watching too, apparently. Through tears of frustration, I'm sure.